dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
