as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize