i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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