one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
