i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
