Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize