how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
