Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldnāt do it.
I donāt care if thereās a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and Iām going to use it!
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