i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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