she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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