so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize