Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I cut my penus on the lid.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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