At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
