do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
