He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize