Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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