Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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