I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
