nut hugger
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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