Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
NoShamevember. You game?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
