What a fucking waste of an outfit
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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