why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
