i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
