Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
