At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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