why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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