I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
