I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
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I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
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I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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