So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
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