a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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