i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
