i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
