Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
