At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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