You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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