hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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