This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
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chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
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I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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