so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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