I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
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Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
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The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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