So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
