I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She's like a pop up book from hell.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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