chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Four minutes until I can fart!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
