Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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