Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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