And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
