is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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