I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
