I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
