I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
