Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
