Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
