drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
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I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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