Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
