What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
