people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
