I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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