I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
