sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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