it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
