Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
