How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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