I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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