I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
