Fuck appropriateness.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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